wat bout pragnant strippers??
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I'm like, not good at living.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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