i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
no, he came in my armpit
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
i think my cat just said my name.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
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