sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
So apparently I’m into choking now
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
