His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
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I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
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