Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
