its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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