I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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