So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
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Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Boobs speak an international language.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
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What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
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