Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
