he told me I talked like a deaf person
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Randomize
