Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
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You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
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