Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Randomize
