dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
please don't ironically join a cult
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