its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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