how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
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