she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
