you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize