Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
My life is pants optional.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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