I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
