We won't sleep together?
the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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