Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
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