i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
