He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
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