I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Randomize
