note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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