Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
You were trust falling into bushes
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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