I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize
