I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
whose ass print is on the piano?
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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