After last night, I could never be a politician.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
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Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
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YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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