Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize
