i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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