More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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