I hope my margaritas pass through security.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Randomize
