You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
