Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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