State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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