You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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