Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
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shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
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I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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