***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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