Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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