I will die if light touches me.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
Randomize