Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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