The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
