the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
The feeling are messing with the penis
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Randomize
