You can't special order awesome
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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