what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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