i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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