I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Randomize
