Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
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She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
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