I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize