He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
