O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Randomize
