kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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