god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
