Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize
