he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
